Itchy mouths...

What I hate about man kind... they can't say nice things. If you have nothing nice to say, why say anything at all?! When I say mean things, it's because YOU have said something to insult me before. And I won't just act like nothing has happened. I will remind you of what you have said to insult me. I will never let anyone hurt me again!

I started off in high spirits today. Had my plan ready, go out to buy a mixer and other cooking tools that I needed to kick off my baking. Evident from my previous post, I was heading back home to start baking my Cheesecake and set to clean up my room etc. But things took a turn for the worse cos apparently people in Singapore are extremely unsupportive and can't say nice things at all!!!

I hate it when people try to use reverse psychology on me to see if I react or to make me do things. I already had a plan to bake my Cheesecake. Or else why would I have gone out these two days to buy ingredients and tools?! I just got home, hadn't even changed into my house wear and I get told that I only SAY I want to bake a Cheesecake and I won't actually bake one. Firstly that already pissed me off. I already had plans and my own timing. Then they say "yah we said that so that you'd actually prove us wrong and go bake one" like WTH. WHY SHOULD I PROVE TO ANYONE THAT I WILL DO SOMETHING?! If I want to do it, it will be done out of my own will. Not because you make some stupid comment to spur me into doing it!!!

So in the end. No Cheesecake baking. I wont go out and prove you wrong to fill your ego into thinking that your words are in anyway significant to me and that you know how to get me to do things. If you say I'm lazy and wont end up baking it, then fine. I'll show you how lazy I can be. Superbly pissed off! Now I don't know if I should trash my ingredients or not. And I don't know what to do with my cooking tools now.  I was so happy to have gotten a mixer too and I could make macarons. But now... why should I bother?! I wanted to share my baked food with my family, but seriously are they family?! Do family members treat each other like that?!

And I hate it how in Singapore everyone is so damn competitive. Sure you want to be better than others, sure you want your kids to be better than other kids. However, why do you need to be competitve between your own family members?! Why do you constantly need to prove yourself against your other family members?! Why do you need to hide things and be so secretive between family members?! Doesn't it just go to show that you're afraid. You're afraid if others know how far ahead you are, they might catch up?! I always though family were there to support each other. Now I feel stupid that I openly tell people my plans and what I'm doing. And in return everyone just uses me to get one step ahead! Then again, maybe I'm the one who needs to reevaluate the meaning of family. Maybe family are just strangers only related by blood. I was stupid to think that family is a network you can rely on. In reality you really can't rely on anyone but yourself.

I will reevaluate where I really need to be, what I should do, who I need to keep in my life, who I need to shut out and what to do with my life. Goodnight.